When I was in Love...

Once upon a time it happened to me, the sweetest thing that could ever be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true. It was the day that I met her.....

--> Sometime back
When She walked in the Room,
I saw Her Face.
When she smiled at Me, I knew she was The One.
When she looked at me with her beautiful Eyes, I knew she was Feeling me.
When she Held my hand, I knew this wasn't a dream.
When I left that night, I said to myself Is this Love at First sight...

--> The same night
I reached my home, closed my eyes, She was there…..everywhere
Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
That's the question I asked myself
How is it possible to feel so much for a
Stranger, until I laid eyes on her ?
Love has no limits, no color, no time.
That's when I realized I had fallen in love -
Love at first sight.

--> Few Days later
I thought that a sudden feeling had united us
Without knowing, She had made a place in my heart
This certainty is beautiful,
Even more beautiful than uncertainty…
I know we don’t know each other
But there were signs, indications, undecipherable.
That someone wants us to be to-gether.

--> Present
I don’t know what the world thinks of me,
But I am too shy to say this to her
My heart it hurts, It hurts so much
I have never felt, So much pain as such
To make her stay, Or let her go
Without her in my life, I won’t be whole
How can I tell her that my love for her is true
Without the common “I love you”

--> Future
Waiting for her to take the next move…
As She know I am like this
Or Is She also waiting for me..to do it ??
Trust me I wanna make it sure
My love for you will always last
My Crazy Obsession With You is not for a time…
It’s forever….forever…forever :-)

365 days

I am so absolutely totally utterly in awe of this person that I always want to emulate his fashion, magnetism, easiness and attitude but deep there I am aware no matter what I do I cant even come closer being like him. I know…am head over heels in love with this man , there I said it he is one and only “Bhai” . This post is exactly for two reasons. One, precisely 365 days back he left Mumbai (and me), Secondly he is still away and I know as always I don’t show but somewhere I miss his presence…his absence is killing me.

Bhai Congratulations for completing one year in “Mövenpick”, he deserve all this success, and strangely for this particular stretch of his absence I have researched few things :

I don’t sleep in the living room and rather prefer bedroom.

I sleep at the edge of the bed but then I use to take more space.

I had a great difficulty sleeping with the never ending trumpeting sound of his cellphone from one or other of his friends, Now I have great difficulty in sleeping without them.

I have to put on the duvet every night when I am feeling cold but when he was here he use to put on the same for me.

I complained when he do not pick out my clothes for work. Now, I plan my outfits for every week!

I fight with him all the time for the song to be played . Now, I don’t even bother switching it on.

I miss the amusing weekend night’s..the fun and partying till wee hours in the morning and then there his leading words “Abhi nahi…Kha ke soyega”. Now no-one dares to say me the same.

I miss those days when I go out with friend and a single message of mine makes him apprehensive, whose text reads only these words “Bhai Pyaar ho gaya hai “. I do freak out but I know quite well..have to come back early as there is no one home.

I miss the true critic of mine who bullies me for not matching pace with my past and then his unbreakable belief in me..go on man you are the BEST. Now people are there but in a mask I don’t know who loves me who loves me not.

All of a sudden he has no flaws…I was always aware about this law….Thanks for his irrational, unbreakable belief in me...bordered on craziness at a few time. I know my relationship with him goes beyond the common gene we share and as always I need his irrational support for me.

All the best Bhai in the last few years I had a nice journey knowing you from being a brother to a friend :-)

Quandary....

I was listening while Prerna was talking to her husband on phone. Prerna is an office colleague…. bright, ambitious and articulate. She is a modern day woman who keeps everything before work..and believe that Husband and wife have an equal responsibility whether it is in rearing a child or earning a bread. That day while coming to work she noticed that her son was having high temperature. She gave him a Crocin tablet and told her Aaayii to take care of him…She called her Aaayii in noon to enquire about her son…while she was leaving for the day, her boss reminded her about the party due in the evening where they had to meet a business delegation and he wanted her to come along with him..She couldn’t resist it, as that meeting was important and as it goes a happy boss means a happy job!! Being a working lady has its own hassles, as she can not think about her home always if she has to climb the ladder of success. After all it is also fair that husband too has an equal responsibility of raising the child as the child is his also.

For a moment, this propelled me into the thought of one of my office colleague Prakash and his wife Neha. She had a decent job when Prakash married her and he wanted her to carry on with the job as he felt that she will get bore in the flat. Neha was also all eager and happy to go ahead with her profession but all her perspective changed abruptly when she became a mother. She insisted that she must quit the job so that she can be with the child all along, tending him, feeding him, playing with him, seeing him grow up. Here for once Prakash insisted that she can do all this without leaving the job..she would not relent..Do you want me to earn to run the household? Prakash..she was almost at the brink of crying…”No my dear I only want you to be engaged” he coaxed her…“Yes, I am engaged with my child and you must be happy with my decision”, she said with a finality in her voice.

Leaning back on my chair staring outside the glass window I am in quandary unable to find an answer to the contrasting view points of the two ladies on a rather similar point.

Building my own coffin…

A wishful thought for a fancy ToMoRRoW :

Seems i am waiting to retire when i am 60? Working like a dog and saving bit of penny to make it happen? What if i don’t make it to 60? What if i do make it to 60 and find that inflation and other evils have trashed my nest egg? Even if i make it to 60 with enough in my kitty, i may find that all the things i wanted to do in retirement may not be possible because of failing health and general lethargy.

So why not to retire when i am 35 or 40 with some reasonable savings,take up a low stress job or small business to cover my needs, control my expenses and live a simple life? That way may be i 'll get to retire in the prime of my life…mind you, the way i define retirement here is not necessarily to sit at home doing nothing but rather to have the time and more importantly, the freedom to do whatever i love. If i want to sit at home doing nothing, that qualifies too. Remember what they say, people often spent the best years of their life giving away their health in exchange for money and then spent their retirement or latter part of their life spending that money to get back their health.
God knows Am I working too hard and spending long hours at work?

Need to think about it…for all I know, I may be building my own coffin at my desk every day !!!

A new beginning :-)

Welcome to the Jungle Chhote Pratap!!!

I don't know what was impeding me for so long from starting a blog..but as its said its never late guys so finally I am at Someplace which I know is made up for me.

A place for my fantasies...my world..my thoughts ....And "Laal PaRi" :-)